By Theresa Jacobellis
“Don’t live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.” Wendy Wasserstein
“I expect to pass through life but once. If, therefore, there can be any kindness I can show, or any good things I can do to any fellow human being, let me do it now, and not defer it or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.” William Penn
“I have no patience for idiots.” Mindy Wolfle
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I pulled these gems from Mindy Wolfle’s Facebook page today, after learning weeks after the fact that she had succumbed to the illness she had been battling for more than a year.
When you reach a certain age and you begin to measure your career in terms of decades rather than years, you develop a wide circle of colleagues. If you are fortunate, you can count a few of these colleagues among your friends.
For me and so many others, Mindy Wolfle was one of those friends.
Mindy was one of those people who I don’t recall meeting for the first time. She just seemed to be in my professional circle. Or rather, I was in hers. And to be in her circle was to be part of a network of dynamic, intelligent and impactful women.
In 2015, I received an email from Mindy inviting me to one of her seasonal “Let’s Meet for Lunch” events. Each quarter, she would invite about 30 women to a luncheon at Hofstra University (these later morphed into breakfasts at an Old Westbury diner). Mindy would plan every detail, from the menu to the speaker to the unique ice-breaker activities. (A personal favorite: “Please bring or wear just one item that suggests a great woman historical character”). Sitting with a handful of women I had never met, the conversation and connections flowed. I never missed one of her “Let’s Meet…” events after that first time.
As Mindy wrote in a 2018 column in the Long Islander (“It’s Time to Stop Networking,”) she didn’t believe in networking, although she excelled at it. Instead, she believed in building relationships, and she excelled at that as well. If you haven’t read the column, do it now. It is filled with great advice.
In the brief time that we were friends, here is what I learned about Mindy: She was extremely funny; uncommonly smart; a staunch enforcer of grammatical rules; and a true wordsmith. Here are some of the things she loved: her cats, Ripley and Raisin; blueberry pancakes; rock ‘n roll; the beach. Here are some things she disliked: meat; alcohol; having her picture taken; idiots (see quote above).
She was one of the most generous people I have ever known, willing to share her time to be a guest lecturer at my writing class at Hofstra, or to raise money for the many charities she supported, or to organize fantastic breakfast or lunch gatherings for the incredible women she brought together.
When she first learned of her illness, she sent an email to her inner circle informing us of her diagnosis and asking that we respect her privacy. Only after her passing did many of us begin to realize how large that inner circle was; so many of us had been aware of her battle yet had never spoken of it to one another. Every one of us abided by her wishes.
Mindy handled her diagnosis as she managed her life – on her own terms and for her own reasons. Her time here was too short, but she filled it with friendship, laughter, love and lessons – the things that give life meaning. In that way, her life was a lesson for all of us fortunate enough to have been her friend.
Truly, for us, her memory shall be a blessing.